Ok, so specifially this is just a word of advice from me to you: do NOT go to the movies on New Year's Day. Apparently everyone and their grandmother had that same idea. Bad mistake on my part.
So I figured I would round up some peeps and go see Avatar in 3D in Imax at the White Marsh theater on Friday night. New Year's Day. Wow did that become a colossal series of unfortunate events. That, and White Marsh has really let itself slip in terms of its hygenic nature.
First, I arrive at the theater at 6pm to buy tickets for the 7pm show. The counter girl was quite indignent that I even asked for the tickets. She informed me that those tickets were sold out at 1pm that day. 1pm? Really? That day? Good God man. To me that was just silly. So then we settled for the 7:30 showing of Sherlock Holmes.
My group arrived in the theater at 7:25 to get our seats. Mistake #2 of the night. The only seats available were four in the very front row. We were so up front we were actually behind the screen I think. I was literally looking straight up to see the screen.
Oh, and as a quick side note - NEVER walk on the floors in that front row. I could barely move because my feet were sticking to the floors. Seriously. I felt like I was an usher at the Apex theater in the 80s all over again. It was totally gross.
So we decided to leave that show and catch the 8:30 Sherlock instead. I did get to see most of the team Cap'n McGillicutty - The Team Rated RRRRR before we left though. That was cool.
So we got in line and waited for the 8:30 showing. It was a long ass wait and we were afraid to sit down for fear of what we would catch on the floor. Ick times ten. When we finally got into the theater we went to the very top back row...and were greeted by a big glob of nacho cheese sauce smeared on the back wall. How it was still hanging there, and for how long it had lived there, I had no idea. All I know is during the film sometimes it would call to me, beckoning me...
So eventually we did get to see the film, and it was an adventure getting out of the row because of the trash that had piled up. When we left the theater after 11pm (thanks to literally 20 minutes of previews the film started not at 8:30 but closer to 9) the lobby of the theater was still as crowded and as big a madhouse as it was back at 6pm. I didn't even get to mention waiting in the candy line for 20 minutes to get a $4.25 bag of peanut M&Ms that had 20 pieces in them, half of which I spilled onto the theater floor by accident during the film and didn't dare try to recover. I weep for their souls though.
So my friends, lesson learned. Avoid the theaters and all costs on New Year's Day, and for all that is holy, buy your Avatar tickets a week in advance and beware the mysterious cheese blobs hanging in a theater near you.
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I promise you, while all these happy a-holes were enjoying Avatar I snuck in and gave them a good crop dusting. Happy New Years on that.
And this was just the line to the rest rooms.
Here Jude just told Robert that we tried to get our Avater tickets at 6pm. Bastards.
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