So this week I just wanted to list just a few quick hits of things that really annoy and piss me off:
1.) When someone snags a great parking space right in front of you in a packed parking lot.
2.) Repetitive commericals during sporting events. If I see one more Denis Leary Ford Truck commercial I am going to have to hunt him down and beat him mercilessly.
3.) Getting take out/drive through food and discovering missing food or wrong items when you get home.
4.) Men's bathrooms. I was going to do a whole rant on this. They all smell horrible and are usually very gassy. Guys who let one rip while at the urinal piss me off too. Dude, I am standing right next to you, can you NOT do that?
5.) People who feel the need to correct every little thing you say if they think you are wrong. Really gets to you after the first 2 times it happens.
6.) Putting up the 2nd highest score in my fantasy football league...only to be playing the guy with the highest score in the league.
7.) Movies that look great in trailer and absolutely suck in real life (I will never forget or forgive The Village for that)
8.) People who talk to their animals while you are on the phone with them. Seriously?
9.) I really hate it when people call me and dont leave a message. Then they get mad when I don't call them back. Hey if you are too lazy to leave a 5 second message then I am not going to bother returning your call.
10.) When you order food at a restaurant and you get it and it is just plain awful. It's cold, smell funny, tastes like feet, or wasn't anything that you expected. I got a crab cake last week from some place and it was not crab and certainly wasn't a cake. It was like whitefish clumped in a ball. Barf-o-Rama.
11.) People who solicit your advice and then do the exact opposite of what you advise. How totally messed up is that? Then they wonder why you won't give them advice anymore.
12.) Lists that freaking go on forever.
13.) Those special invite thingees you get in Facebook. I log in and I have like 100s of them. Join this, so and so sent you a drink, take a quiz on which gay comic book superhero you are, all that nonsense. The internet is for sharing porn people, dont send me a hug and a rainbow on Facebook.
14.) Hookers that don't give exact change. I mean come on.
15.) Adult websites that still charge monthly fees. Really? $29.95 a month to look at photos of girls in bikinis? Um...no. There is this thing called Google, and its free and with it I can find free nekkid chiks. Don't need no stinkin' monthly fees.
and finally...
16.) When that jackass writing the trivia questions botches the answer when I totally gave the right answer to my team and the answer that was given was totally the wrong one. Jackass.
Comments? Feedback? Join in on the Bitching?
Email irishboon@aol.com and I will post all comments the following week.
Share an example of something that pisses you off!
Bitch #1
-Last week, at a local restaurant, two parents were oblivious while their toddler stood next to the table (and completely obstructed the path of every waiter and waitress) Then, pushed a chair into the aisle. And when the manager tactfully attempted to move the chair back, mom and dad still had no clue that their little cherub was obstructing the flow of the wait staff. Here's my tip: Booth: Kids sit inside the booth with the parents on the aisle....so they can't get out> Table: Parent-kid-parent-kid. Seating both parents side by side allows both kids to be in the aisle obstructing........
-Taking the time to go in person to a business only to have the phone ring, and then stand waiting while the salesperson assists the person on the phone! How about:" I am sorry.....I have a customer.....can you call back later?"
-Calling the Emergency Room and asking "How busy are you right now/?"........Does that sound like an emergency?
-Mandatory common sense...."Caution: Coffee is hot-do not put between your legs while driving"
Look what you have started! I have zillions of things that drive me crazy! Want to have some real fun? Go to any fast food establishment, and pay with cash but include whatever change necessary get back the least number of coins (ie-$1.83.....and you pay with $5.08.....so your change is an even $3.25) and then watch as they struggle to figure out what the 8 cents is for.........
Bitch #2
1) Ever notice how the people who get the most pissed you took the last parking spot are the people who are too cheap to pay $5 for a space in a parking garage?
2) Who watches commercials? The remote never leaves the hand of a real man!
3) Who leaves the drive thru window without checking their order right there? OK, die-hard optimists.
4) Funky men's bathrooms? Real men can hold it, unless the game goes into overtime, and then you just piss on the drunk in front of you.
5) Real men don't play fantasy football! They lose all their money to seedy bookies.
6) People who talk to their animals while on the phone ARE animals.
7) I hate it when people call and don't leave a message. That's why I answer my phone!
8) I wish I had enough money to even think of ordering crab cake in a restaurant. And what's wrong with whitefish, in fact, what is whitefish? Isn't that the band formed by some of the guys from whitesnake?
9) People always do the opposite of what you advise. Just tell them the opposite first and they'll always end up doing what you think best.
10) And finally......nah!
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