I have to tell you, getting sick is the suck. It doesn't matter when it happens, it is always a very bad time. Our lives are way, way too busy to get sick, and yet we do. Nothing like having a wonderful weekend planned and then having some bug jump on you and suddenly you are blowing your nose 24/7 and you feel like you got hit by a truck.
I have to ask, serious, where does all that snot come from? Is my brain literally melting in my head? I must have gone through 4 full boxes of tissues this weekend, and no end in sight. How is this even possible? In my drug-induced delirium I had an idea of converting all my snot to natural energy to power automobilies. I would be rich, but would have to be perpetually sick to pull this off. Not a good trade off in my book.
I am also fairly convinced that whatever illness grabbed me was a result of my trip to germ-infested waters called a crowded movie theater last week. God knows how many diseases I picked up in that theater. (See last week's entry for more details on this.)
I usually am pretty good about washing my hands, not touching other people's stuff, and limit my hand shaking in the winter time when I can. If I really could create a cool invention, it would be a device that told you the exact moment and how you picked up a bug. Ah ha! When I touched that water fountain to put water in my cup Joe Schmoe from accounting had literally just sneezed into his hands 4 seconds before he used the fountain an hour ago. Let me go find that bastard...
Though as bad as colds are, the flu 100 times worse than that, and the stomach virus a million times worse than that. Give me a running nose for a month over puking for 12 hours straight. Growing up literally every spring and fall I would get a stomach bug, and I would puke every hour on the hour like clockwork. I really, really hated that time of year. I would actually pull muscles because I was throwing up so hard, and after a few hours I had nothing left to throw up anyway. At some point I was like "wow, I think that's my birthday cake from 1981." No doubt the worst you can get is those stomach things. What sucks about that is you lay in bed all day watching TV because you can't move, and every other damn commecial is a food commercial. Seriously. That kills me every time.
Well, I am going to cut this short, because I (shocker!) have to go blow my nose and wipe down this keyboard so that my germs aren't being spread. Then I have to go find some co-workers desks that I am not fond of and lick the earpieces to their phones. Then I need to call them to leave them a voicemail and wish them a happy Monday tomorrow. Heh heh heh.
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I feel your pain dude, I feel your pain.
$20 says that even the President looks into his tissue after blowing out a good one.
Everytime you sneeze millions of germs fly out of your head and God kills kittens.
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